The Confidence Trick

Some of the saddest words that a human being can utter are these: “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Yet, according to Bronnie Ware, a palliative nurse, this is precisely the sentiment that, more than any other, sums up the main regret of people nearing the end of their lives.

Confidence is the antidote to this kind of regret; it is the surest defence against the abdication of our sense of our own agency. When we give up authorship of our own lives, or resign ourselves to living through the eyes of others, we are effectively surrendering our personhood. It is a reflection of the notion that people are the product of their circumstances rather than the decisions they make.